Sunday, 09 August 2009

• hold me close. don't let me speak anymore.

  i will never drink that fast again.
  i promise.
  i promise.
  i promise.
  
  i hate making a complete and utter fool of myself.
  and then not remembering it later.
  
  two a days start tomorrow.
  i can't figure out how to take my lipring out.
  and i can't find a spacer.
  
  i let chelsie cut my hair.
  i took pictures, but i can't post them because my computer doesn't have a memory card slot.
  fuck me sideways.
  
  in my state of drunkenness, i always take for granted the people who are trying to help me most. i know i'm fucked up at the time, but i just become so angry at their concern for me. why...why? afterwards, i feel like a total bitch. and yet, they're always still there in the morning, smiling, bring me a breakfast burrito.
  
  i'm one of the luckiest girls in the world.
  
  
  
  "Said little angel with the bottle...
  I don't love you anymore...
  Yeah I spent some time out with the devil,
  Oh but you don't hurt me anymore... "
  
  
  "The night was young and so were we
  Talked about life, God, death, and your family
  Didn't want any promises,
  Just my undivided honesty, and you said
  Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better"
  
  
  "Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
  Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through"
  
  "i am heaven sent,
  don't you dare forget.
  i am all you've ever wanted,
  what all the other boys all promised.
  sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
  i think in decimals and dollars.
  i am the cause to all your problems,
  shelter from cold. we are never alone.
  coordinate brain and mouth.
  then ask me whats it like to have
  myself so figured out.
  i wish i knew..
  
  i hope this song starts a craze.
  the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
  the kind of song that makes people glad
  to be where they are,
  with whoever they're there with.
  this is war.
  every line is about,
  who i don't wanna write about anymore.
  hope you come down with something
  they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.
  holding on to your grudge.
  oh its so hard to have someone to love.
  and keeping quiet is hard.
  cause you cant keep a secret
  if it never was a secret to start.
  at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught..
  
  we're concentrating on falling apart.
  we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
  but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
  i just wanna believe, in us.
  
  Oh, we're so controversial.
  we are entirely smooth.
  we admit to the truth,
  we are the best at what we do.
  and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
  this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
  handsome and smart.
  oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
  that works harder than my heart.
  and its all from watching tv,
  and from speeding up my breathing.
  wouldn't stop if i could.
  oh it hurts to be this good.
  you're holding on to your grudge.
  oh it hurts to always have to be honest
  with the one that you love.
  oh, so let it go..
  
  we're concentrating on falling apart.
  we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
  but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
  i just wanna believe.
  we're concentrating on falling apart.
  we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
  but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
  i just wanna believe, in us.
  
  this is the grace that only we can bestow.
  this is the price you pay for loss of control.
  this is the break in the bend,
  this is the closest of calls.
  this is the reason your alone,
  this is the rise and the fall.
  
  we're concentrating on falling apart.
  we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
  but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
  i just wanna believe.
  we're concentrating on falling apart.
  we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
  but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
  i just wanna believe, in us."
  
  -my ex boyfriend played this song for me on his guitar, and sang to me, the first time i ever went to his house. i was just amazed someone had done that for me. it wasn't until after we broke up that i looked up the lyrics. i really miss him sometimes. really.
  
  he talked to me for half an hour last night when i was drunk.
  he's one of my best friends.
  but i'll never forget lying in bed with our hands intertwined talking about everything.
  
  <--- i love his cover of this song:
  
  "Won't you let me walk you home from school
  Won't you let me meet you at the pool
  Maybe Friday I can
  get tickets for the dance
  and I'll take you
  Won't you tell your dad, "Get off my back"
  Tell him what we said 'bout 'Paint It Black'
  Rock 'n Roll is here to stay
  Come inside where it's okay
  And I'll shake you.
  Won't you tell me what you're thinking of
  Would you be an outlaw for my love
  If it's so, well, let me know
  If it's "no", well, I can go
  I won't make you"
  
  <3
  
  
  

  • 8:54 PM
  • 710 Views
  • 8 eProps
  • 7 Comments